“Breakups are Hard”

“Breakups are Hard.” Well no shit sherlock. Unless the relationship or friendship was so new that it never really developed a breakup can be devastating. And yes I include friendships in this because many people will agree with me that sometimes a friend breakup is ten times worse than a relationship ending.

I’m an introvert. I develop bonds with very few people, so when a bond is broken it’s devastating. I had a best friend who betrayed me. I wouldn’t allow myself to trust a friend after that for a while until one of my now closest friends showed me that I can’t punish the world for one person’s mistake (thanks B). I dated a guy for about a year and he broke up with me devastating me. I didn’t want to get close to anyone like that again till over a year later (thanks Aj).

It hurts everyone when a friendship or relationship ends. I know it can be devastating, even traumatic at times. My dad once told me to handle a break up like a death. Stay with me on this one. When someone dies it’s never about forgetting them or erasing them from our memory. It’s about learning to live without them. When someone breaks up with you, don’t try to forget them. Instead learn how to live without them. Let yourself grieve over the loss of the relationship. Seriously it’s healthy.

Never forget you were able to breathe before they entered your life and you can still breathe now that they aren’t in your life. Keep breathing. Time really is the best healer. Yes, you will always care about this person no matter how much you try to not. You will have days where it hits you like a freight train of wondering what could’ve been. BUT you will learn to live without him or her. You will find happiness in being by yourself. You will be ok again.

Breakups are hard whether it’s a relationship or friendship ending. That’s an understatement I know. It’s devastating. It’s ok to feel the hurt. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to scream and just break down. It’s when you break down that you put yourself back together again. When you put yourself back together again you will come out stronger. Just keep breathing and staying strong. You will be ok I promise.

Love always,

SaraValley